With a smile, he looked at me and said,” You are back! It's lovely to see you." He gave me a hug. It's always the smile on his face that I wanted to see every time I'm back. If only I can drive, I would have gone back everyday if permit. "Dear, you do have all the time you wanted now, but, do remember as you grow older, time do not comes so easily." I never understand what he said. Time is something that I have a lot to spare in those days. "Don't you worry. I will come back for you every week even if I have to work. I will not leave you alone. NEVER!" I said without thinking the consequences of the statement I've made. Again, he looks at me and smile. If only I had kept that promise. Time is moving faster and faster. If only I have 48 hours a day. No.. I may need more. Anyhow it's too late....
"Are you coming back tonight?" he asked. "No. I'm sorry. There is something that I need to finish up by today." I replied, looking at the time in my car. I'm on my way to work. Yes, it's a weekend but work just came up suddenly. He hung up sounding disappointed.
The following weeks then months, he called and the replied stay the same. Until, one day....
"Hi! Uncle Gabriel here. Can you come back now?" the voice said. Trying hard to remember Uncle Gabriel, I replied, "Sorry, I have a meeting here. What is it?"
"It's him. He has gone." What? Him? Uncle Gabriel? Now I remember, Uncle Gabriel is his neighbour. My tear fell as I got the message about him. Memories flush through my mind, the promise that I shall keep. It's too late and I haven't went back for half a year. If only I made my effort to see him one last time. I know how dissapointed he will be.
"He left a message for you. He said that he will not blame you for not coming back for him. He understand how workaholic his granddaughter is. He hope you wil be strong and be a successful working lady" He continued.
If only I could turn back time. Feeling sorry... Regrets... Sadness.. Speechless.. All that in my mind is his smile..
GLOOMY SUNDAY (1933)
It is autumn and the leaves are
falling
All love has died on
earth
The wind is weeping with sorrowful
tears
My heart will never hope for a new
spring again
My tears and my sorrows are all in
vain
People are heartless, greedy and
wicked...
Love has died!
The world has come to its end, hope
has ceased to have a meaning
Cities are being wiped out,
shrapnel is making music
Meadows are coloured red with human
blood
There are dead people on the
streets everywhere
I will say another quiet
prayer:
People are sinners, Lord, they make
mistakes...
The world has ended!
-Rezsô Seress (1899-1968)-