Monday, February 14, 2005

The Trauma (Part II)

Later evening, I was supposed to fetch James to Wei Chang's open house at 5:30pm. Due to the jam in the highway, he postponed it to 6:30pm and then to 7:00pm. Well, at least I can spend more time in Soephix place. Had a lot of things to share with her (girls talk). I went back home at 6pm and took a quick nap. However, my mind was playing back the scene whereby the car crash to the drain. I was woken up by my cellphones. Gee.. almost 7:00pm.

As soon as I picked James up, I headed to Vincent's house to pick him and Gerry. Then we went to Sai Khuan's house. As I was driving, my mind was nowhere but back to the highway where the incident happens. Yes, it was raining and I'm driving all the way to OUG without paying much attention to the road. As a result, I caused Sai Khuan, who is following behind my car, went around the bush several time (I mean going round a circle).

I was really kind of scare when I was heading to OUG. I don't know why I was so afraid but I try my best not to let them realised. I try to cheer myself up by talking but it fails. Anyways, I'm lucky enough that we all reach the destiny safe and sound.

I'm not going to describe in detail on the events that evening. As usual, it will be dinner and then the Uncle Lim's session. Well, enough, i got some side income. We play some fireworks too. Unfortunately the cops visited us and caught us with it. I will discuss on it, well, comment on it on my following blog. Sorry, today discussion is on the trauma. It's not related on the 'greedy yet unprofessional cops'. So, I guess I will leave it suspense for the moment.

Let's continue. As the clock reaches 3:30am, we all went home. I was kind of neglected to drive actually. It was so dark and raining. It's the first time I encounter such feeling. But how was I supposed to tell them that I don't want to drive? Without saying anything, I headed to my car and start the engine. "Let's hope everything will be fine. God bless me and my friends,” I pray in my heart. As I was driving back, I felt myself trembling. Was it because of the cold weather or was it because I'm scare? I saw cars in front and beside me.

"Let's hope the driver in the car is awake." "Will the car next to me swirl to me suddenly?" "What happen if the car driver is drunk?" "What's the point if I drive carefully when the car next to me drive recklessly?"

These few questions kept playing through my mind as I drive. I decided not to use the highway, as I know that road's accident rate is high. However, I make another bad choice (as usual). Roadblock! What a dumb *ss! I hate them blocking the road. Waste of my time and I hate taking out my ID card from the purse as I always forget to put them back later (ended up driving without ID the next time). James looking, yes they thought I'm freaking out. Obviously no. They never know how much I hated the Police. I am freak out but not the roadblock. It’s the incident that freaks me out. “Weird, why I didn’t feel such feeling when I was driving back this afternoon after the incident?” “Why am I feeling this after so many hours?” I asked myself as I’m reaching Vincent’s house. I can feel hand shaking when I was holding the steering. Lucky enough they didn't realise it.

In the middle of the journey, I started to mumble. Talking to myself. "Shouldn't have drive. " "I don't think I can drive for these few days." "I'm not concentrating"

I'm worried how to get home after sending everyone back. I'm all alone in the car. What if....Well, thank god. He really did answer my prayer. I got to reach home safe and sound. It's a very memorable moment to me. All these while, I've been telling my friends "I love to drive, especially at the highway. " not these time, Kaysin. When will I be driving back again? I'm still wondering....

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