Just got back from CNY celebration.
Just like the year before, something is missing.
Though I no longer going back to Ipoh,
Though I spent the holiday only with my grandma in Tg malim,
But I felt something missing.
Missing the one whom will always stand at the door looking at me when I arrived,
Smilling, with a hand holding a ciggie.
Then he will ask me how am I...
He will then comment on me losing my weight.. asking me to eat more...
Miss the time he will walk to me holding his letter and some reports,
asking me to translate and explain the details of it.
Miss the time he will give me and my siblings as well as cousin some money to buy ciggie.
As usual we will then keep the left over to buy ice cream or some junk food.
Miss the time he will stand behind me while I'm playing mahjung and give me advise.
never forget about the four '1' which is 11.11pm that is the time for bed.
Family dinner without him is so different.
Remember the time when everyone would want to seat beside him, and,
He will only choose to seat between me n grandma or me n my little cousie 'xiao bai'.
Now, I only see empty seats beside me.....
'How I wish I still can greet you 'happy chinese New year' and follow by an Ang Pao from you.
How I wish you still here to guide me on my decision.
How I wish you are here to listen to my dreams and my achievement...
Life never be the same without you...'